That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
