I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
