Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
