first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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