The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Less talking, more tequila
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
