Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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