She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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