Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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