physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Every concussion has its silver lining
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
