and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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