plz talk dirty to me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
