We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You took a bar mat shot.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
