It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
babies were throwing up all over the place
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
