Yo dont text me then not text me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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