Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
