well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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