We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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