And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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