You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
