Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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