we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When are your genitals available?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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