Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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