I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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