I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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