how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
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I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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