sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Such a big mess for such a small penis
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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