I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
