well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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