Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
