dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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