3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The struggles of a small town man whore
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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