You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
being pregnant is like rehab
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The adults are the big ones right?
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