I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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