it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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