Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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