This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
