Cold hands, warm shart.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
