I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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