New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
