Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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