I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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