you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
