She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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