I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize