I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
