she was so not down for the gang bang
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
