New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
try to milk me bitch
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