I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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