let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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