Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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