seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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