Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
