He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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