i think my mom watched the whole time
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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