i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
