Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
