I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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