i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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