oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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