Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
