I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
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