Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
