she was so not down for the gang bang
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
