Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
