Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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