I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
