tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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