Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
